More than my Child's Diagnosis

 This is my first post on this blog. Sometimes I feel that I am in English Comp again with no idea how the teacher grades or evaluates. So I will go to my old standbys - my poetry.

Big sigh.  I have been dealing with autism for 6 years. My older daughter is now getting evaluated . She is 13. Ariel is her name. Athena is all of 7. All girl and has a amazingly literal mind. The sound you are now hearing is me tearing out my hair.

So my poetry. .  This was written about two years ago but for another mother. As I wrote it (in under 3 mins) I saw myself in many - many of the lines. Where do you find yourself?


More than my Child’s Diagnosis




My child has Autism

Sometimes I think Autism has me

Broken dishes

Extra large diapers by the case

3:00 appointments that never end

Marks on my walls-tears in my couch

Autism has left its mark on my house

I sit for a moment in my old comfy chair

Glancing down to my unmanicured hands

Memories stray to thoughts of peoples' carefree lives

Seemingly not for me

Lifting my head up

Glancing out the window

Moving the curtain, the sun touches my hand

My hands that are full of possibilities

My arms that are full of love

My mind that continually thinks outside of the box

The box gives splinters

I hear a loud noise from the heart of the house

I am involved in a world that is Unaware

So here I am

Autism Mother Rising

Standing now

Tired but not giving up

Loving and being loved

I am genius personified

As I love with all my heart

I am more than my child’s diagnosis


I am Me.






Angela Utley



So there it is - my basis for this blog -to find me whole and intact again. All the while loving my kids.